How do I stay positive when everything seems to be going wrong?

Words by Sophie

So you have attended your Hypnobirthing classes, or you have read a Hypnobirthing book or completed your online course. You feel so positive, more confident in your body and its ability to birth your baby. You have implemented the technique practice into your life and have made sure you relax for 30 minutes each day. You feel happy, confident, and ready to birth that baby. 

But then life happens. 

You have a negative appointment. 

A family member says something that makes you doubt yourself. 

You get to 40 weeks and the pressure to induce begins. 

You see something negative on the internet or in a film 

(or all of the above!)

And all of a sudden you feel you are back at square one. You feel like that frightened woman right at the start of your Hypnobirthing journey and then the doubt creeps in. 

Am I making the right decision? 

Am I being silly by saying no to induction? 

Am I being silly saying yes to induction?

Am I kidding myself that my birth will be anything other than what I have seen on One Born Every Minute?

But you are not back at square one. You still have all that information you gathered in your brain you just have to tap back into it. That is the trick. When you suss how to do this you will be totally cool, calm and collected no matter what you might face in pregnancy, birth, motherhood and beyond.

You will remember from your classes that when your body is relaxed and calm you create calm and connection hormones; oxytocin, melatonin and prolactin. These signal to your body that everything can happen smoothly and all is ok. If you need to make a decision or recall information when you are in this state, what we call the rest and digest state, you can easily do this. You can remember everything, give yourself a pep talk and get yourself feeling positive again (remember your brain wants to be positive as it functions to the best of its ability when happy and stress free). 

So how does this help us to stay in our hypnobubble? 

If you are stressed, worried, anxious, or unhappy you will not be making these calm and connection hormones. If you are feeling doubts, worry and anxiety creeping in or if you have had a shock you will be making stress hormones; adrenaline and cortisol. These hormones not only block the hormones we want to feel safe and calm but they also signal to your body that all is not well and that you should be on alert. You feel stress more easily and will often find these stressful thoughts and feelings layer up. 

When you are in a negative frame of mind you attract more negative thoughts and when you are in a positive frame of mind you attract more positive thoughts!

This happens because our brain changes and develops constantly depending on what we feed it (this is called neuroplasticity). This is also why there is so much power in positive affirmations. By flooding our brains with positive thoughts- even if all around us is negative- we begin to think more positively and our bodies respond. 

By recognising that we actually have a great deal of power and control over how we think and feel gives us a powerful tool. We can use this to stay positive and to build our hypnobubble up even stronger.

Some tips from me!

  • Put in your hypnobirthing practice.

  • Remember that you have a huge amount of power over how you think and feel

  • Do some daily mindset practice using positive affirmations.

  • Really really do spend at least 30 minutes a day being relaxed (your body will remember this feeling and you will be able to access it much quicker every time)

  • Know your triggers and avoid avoid avoid!

  • Find someone you can talk to. Your birth partner is great for this and the three of us at Kent Hypnobirthing are always here to talk you through anything you need. (If you haven’t done so already you are welcome to join our facebook group Calm Birth Kent; Birth, Breastfeeding and Beyond)

  • Have a back up plan for if you come up against a huge stress. Remember your BRAIN acronym for big decisions. Recognise what makes you feel better and more positive and have that ready to go if you need it.

Remember that you are amazing, your body is designed to give birth and your brain WANTS to be positive. 

If you haven’t attended a Hypnobirthing course and would like to do so visit our website or facebook page to contact us for more information or book your space!