For Mother's Day, we three Kent Hypnobirthing ladies wanted to write a little bit about what motherhood means to us. For each of us it has challenged and transformed us. It's pretty amazing to really reflect and take stock of the affect becoming and being mothers has had on our existence...
"Seeing myself through his eyes, how important and special I was to him, made me feel differently about myself. Made me love myself."
I come from a very large and loving family and I always wanted to be a mother at some stage in my life but I was taken by surprise to become a mother so early in my life. What took me by surprise even more though was how differently I felt in the first few months. My first period of motherhood was not what I had expected and sometimes very lonely.
I knew no other mums but did not go and seek any out. If I am honest I really had trouble accepting the changes to my body that motherhood had bought. Because I isolated myself I convinced myself that no one would want to be friends with this new me. Then things changed as I watched my son grow and the more I fell in love with him I discovered a new type of love. One so far beyond anything I had ever experienced and one I find it hard to explain to others.
Simply put I loved him more than myself but it was so much more than that. Seeing myself through his eyes, how important and special I was to him made me feel differently about myself. Made me love myself. How much depth and meaning he bought to my life.
I started to seek out likeminded friends and realised I had many of them right under my nose and more I then met through them. Then when I experienced the beautiful birth of my daughter a whole new level of self love kicked off (yes I still have my insecurities and down days but now I have a kick ass group of Mamas who build me up again).
Motherhood has changed me in so many ways. Yes I am tired all the time (zzz) and yes sometimes I am not as patient as I would like, and yes my boobs will never be the same (ha!) But when I sit in my living room watching my son and daughter make each other laugh uncontrollably I am so happy and proud of them. I do a job I LOVE and one I didn't even know about before I became a mother in a world I barely considered before entering it. I am a whole new person now for being a mother but I am so happy that I am, and am excited to see where the rest of motherhood will take me x
"I have my children to thank for that, for the improved version of me and for the vivid, loud, crazy life I have now."
Motherhood for me is a journey of intensity. From the moment they were born, life comes into sharp relief and magnifies in intensity in every form. Intense love, intense (and fierce) protectiveness, intense hormones, frustrations and irritations, intense down days and intense flying sky high days. My life before my children, although a mere 5 years ago, has paled into the past and the person I was is gone and the person I am now is transformed, almost unrecognisable but better, more comfortable, secure and well, more me. I have my children to thank for that, for the improved version of me and for the vivid, loud, crazy life I have now. My children are my world, and it is a more colourful, intense and loving place because of them.
"We each achieve amazing things every day. I see you all, going about your day, casually raising the future. And you astound me."
My own mum was a real example of maternal loveliness. Our house was the house that everyone went to (so much so that a friend of my brother's was given a map to his own house as a birthday present from his parents - just to make sure he knew that he didn't actually live at our house). Motherhood to me meant caring for people, looking after them, welcoming them and listening to them.
In my 20s I really believed Motherhood would be my saviour. I'd never found a job I'd liked and I idealised motherhood as my eventual vocation, I longed to be a stay at home mum caring for my kids (it was all very Pinterest in my head). When I became a mum it both exceeded and utterly dashed my expectations. As much as motherhood is about being a mum to my boys, it has become much more than that. After having Stanley (my first little boy) I felt very under supported. I'd done my research, I thought I knew what I was heading for but I found myself recovering from a birth I'd felt very out of control of, struggling with breastfeeding (who said it was the most natural thing in the world??). I'd made some lovely friends at my antenatal classes and they were really my saviour. But other than them I felt utterly shattered. I felt like the person I had been was gone, but a new me emerged. And I like her even more.
As I pieced myself back together I started to discover that I was not alone in feeling this way, that culturally we don't support new mothers (we question their babies, their choices and their bodies). I found myself volunteering with and then working with these mothers. I also found myself growing the most amazing group of friends - all of whom are the most supportive mothers I've ever encountered. And so Motherhood has come to mean Mothers to me, in all our varied glory. Supporting them and being supported by them. I'm astounded daily by what Mothers are capable of: from birth to caring for our children. We each achieve amazing things every day. I see you all, going about your day, casually raising the future. And you astound me.
We'd love to hear more about what motherhood means to you, let us know in the comments below or on our facebook page . We'd like to wish you you all a very special Mother's day. x