Words by Sophie
This one is for you, the pregnant mum who feels that ALL of your energy is now focussed on growing your baby. There is naturally a lot of stresses and worries for you. Your body, mind and life is changing, sometimes beyond recognition. Your priorities are shifting and you think very little, if at all, about yourself. Your life has changed whether you planned, hoped or wished so hard for this baby, or whether it was the biggest shock of your life.
I have a message for you. You matter too!
You can’t pour from an empty cup! You cannot drink either! There is a reason that the emergency instructions on a plane tell you to see to your own oxygen first. This is because you need to be functioning, fulfilled and have everything you need to be able to give yourself to others.
You can allow yourself to be selfish sometimes. This is a wonderful and empowering lesson to learn while your baby is still growing inside of you. Take time out, do things you love and find daily time to relax and entirely focus on YOU. You will focus on your baby, and your birth too of course, but make this positive focus, for me Hypnobirthing facilitated this. Fill your life with positive thoughts, feelings, and influences but alongside this reflect on yourself.
I think the biggest shock after Felix was born was how much I felt I had changed. I did not recognise myself and it was a very hard time coming to terms with the me I had ‘lost’. (I had not she was there all along I just had to allow myself to find her again) I had paid no attention at all to myself, and had focussed (and negatively at that) solely on birthing my baby. This was because I was very much afraid of what was going to happen. Second time around, and after attending my Hypnobirthing course, I had erased fear from the equation and took time for me. When Esther was born I still felt changed, but it was so positive and healthy and I still felt important too.
I have put together a few ideas to inspire you lovely mums-to-be to practice selflove!
- Journal away! Reflecting on how you feel, what is amazing in your life and what you need is so effective in your selflove regime. Writing it all down can be amazingly lifting and by taking this time out daily (even 5 minutes) to mull it over is wonderfully therapeutic and positive. We live so much in our heads and to get this all out and untangle it from our sometimes-whirring minds helps to quieten thoughts and see where you need to focus for you. This can be so lovely to look back over as well!
- Take half an hour each day to do something you love or that makes you feel relaxed! It will work like magic. Have a bath, read a book, listen to music, do yoga, dance, go for a walk. Really anything, if it feeds your soul!
- Breathe! Focus on this when you wake up and when you go to sleep especially. Breathe deeply and relax, thinking about your baby, you and what an amazing job you are doing growing you baby. Learning to think positively about birth frees up a whole part of your mind that would have been preoccupied with worry and stress!
- By attending a family focussed course, like Hypnobirthing, or preparing for birth along with your husband/partner/birth partner you will be on the same page. You will have someone to talk to honestly about how you truly feel (and how he feels too!). This is so valuable and really this team is so amazing for birthing and beyond!